AIG Bailout Cost 408 dollars For Every Man Woman and Child

Hi and welcome to Hater TV. That’s different from Gator TV, another channel altogether, so if you’re looking for reptiles, you’ll have to look elsewhere.

I’m your host, Lofi Nikita, here to drench you in ascerbic insights into all kinds of hateful things, of which there are more than enough to occupy twenty four hours of every day, but which I will boil down to a few delicious minutes of focused dislike such as you will not want to miss on any occasion.

I must caution you that I am an adult, and will not be wasting my hatred on childish matters. You have all of mySpace to satisfy petty dislikes. Here at Hater TV we focus on the truly despicable, the utterly hate-able, those almost beneath contempt, but not quite.

Let’s start out with those detestable bastards at AIG, the insurance company that has crept into our lives like a cobra into a child’s crib. AIG stands for American International Group, and it’s an insurance company that apparently has first dibs on your money, thanks to Henry Paulson, Secretary of the Treasury, not a bad man for someone who counts his millions in the hundreds, but otherwise not exactly a friend to humanity, who rushed to give AIG $85 Billion when the insurance behemoth felt a little faint after after gorging itself on mortgage dollars at the predator ball.

Suspicion is rapidly growing that AIG management lied about its true financial condition when it got the first infusion of $85 Billion to “save it from collapse.” A New York Times article quotes Don Vickrey, an analyst who says he believes A.I.G. must have already accumulated tens of billions of dollars worth of losses by mid-September, when it received the first $85 billion infusion. You see, that $85 Billion wasn’t near enough to keep AIG afloat. Not that they didn’t spend it wisely – hell they had to lay out a half a million in one night on a big party in LA for their “top producers,” including over $40,000 in “spa charges” – you know, those insurance guys, their work is so intense, and having to beg for money from the taxpayers was really hard on them, so you can hardly begrudge them a good LA-style massage.

Fortunately, even though they miscalculated how much they needed, there was still plenty left on the taxpayer credit card, so Hank Paulsen shot ‘em another $38 billion a few weeks later.

The Wall Street Bailout was rushed through Congress because we couldn’t wait – the economy was going to crater if they didn’t do something! You’ve noticed, of course, how much things have improved. I’d swear the people standing on streetcorners offering to work for food are getting younger.

It’s worth remembering, though, that AIG didn’t even have to wait for the bailout, and has gotten more than any bank. Sugar Daddy Hank Paulson invited AIG to the trough first, because most deserving recipient of taxpayer largesse. Well things tend to continue the way they started, and ever since they got the money, AIG has refused to account for how it’s spending it, although we found out about the party thanks to the spa workers, who couldn’t keep their mouths shut. We also know that AIG has socked money aside for bonuses, and declared that it may need more money soon. According to the Times, “Edward M. Liddy, the insurance executive brought in by the government to restructure A.I.G., has already said that although he does not want to seek more money from the Fed, he may have to do so.”

Well I’m sure they wouldn’t ask if they didn’t really need it. This kind of liberality on the part of the government is an invitation to fraud. Most people don’t even know how many zeroes are in a billion. They say if you started counting to one billion, one dollar per second, it would take a little under 33 years! AIG has received $123 Billion of your money so far – counting at the rate of a dollar per second, it would take 4,059 years to count through all that cash. Another way to look at it is that it constitutes the total income of 2,460,000 families. Another way to look at it is $408 for every man, woman and child in the United States. And AIG isn’t even telling us how the money was spent.

For $59 billion of the $72 billion A.I.G. has used, the company has provided no breakdown. A block of it has been used for day-to-day operations, a broad category that raises eyebrows since the company has been tarnished by reports of expensive trips and bonuses for executives.

AIG is an insurance company. The average yearly auto insurance bill in this country ranges from $800 to $1,200. But we’re not getting any insurance for our $408 – we’re not even getting any information about how they’re spending it. Meanwhile, the insurance companies can get the government to put you in jail if you don’t buy car insurance! These insurance companies seem to have it all wrapped up! As we used to say in Oregon when I lived there, Pretty nice work, if you can get it.

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